Stop Waiting for Your Life to Calm Down Before You Start Living It

I think a lot of us have an imaginary starting line. I'll start taking care of myself when things calm down. I'll work on the business when I have more time. I'll set the boundary when things aren't so complicated. I'll start dating when I feel better about myself. I'll finally do the thing when I'm more confident. When the kids are settled. When the money is better. When work isn't so crazy. When I'm less tired. When I know exactly what I'm doing. Then I'll start. Except there's a problem. Life rarely clears the runway for us.

There's almost always something happening. Something uncertain. Something uncomfortable. Something that needs our attention. Something we wish were different. And if you've unknowingly made "everything needs to be okay first" the requirement for becoming who you want to be, you can spend years standing at that imaginary starting line. I see this all the time in my work. And I've seen it in myself. We think we're stuck. But sometimes we're not stuck at all. We're waiting. Waiting to feel ready. Waiting for confidence. Waiting for permission. Waiting for proof that it's going to work. Waiting for circumstances to change so we can finally become the person we imagine ourselves being when they do.

But what if we've gotten the order backward? What if confidence isn't something that arrives and then allows you to act? What if confidence is created because you acted? What if self-trust comes from keeping small promises to yourself? What if boundaries become easier because you practice having them? What if the next version of you isn't waiting somewhere in the future? What if she's built through the choices you're making today? That's a very different way of looking at change.

Instead of asking: "When will I finally feel like her?" Try asking: "What would she practice today?"

Not what would she accomplish. Not what would she have figured out. Not what would her entire life look like. Just: What would she practice? Maybe she'd say no without writing a six-paragraph explanation. Maybe she'd take the walk. Maybe she'd make the phone call. Maybe she'd stop checking whether everyone else approves. Maybe she'd rest without earning it first. Maybe she'd apply for something before she feels completely qualified. Maybe she'd stop having the same argument in her head with someone who isn't even in the room. Maybe she'd spend twenty minutes working on the dream instead of another twenty minutes thinking about why she hasn't started.

These things seem small. They're not. They're repetitions. And repetitions become familiar. Familiar becomes normal. And eventually normal becomes identity. That's why I say so often: You're not stuck. You're practiced. You've practiced certain thoughts. Certain reactions. Certain expectations. Certain ways of protecting yourself. Certain ways of shrinking, waiting, worrying, pleasing, controlling or preparing for the worst. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means your brain got really good at something you practiced. Which also means you can practice something new.

You don't have to overhaul your entire life Monday morning. You don't have to become fearless.

You don't have to wake up tomorrow as the most confident, healed, enlightened version of yourself who drinks green juice and has finally figured out what all the cords behind the television go to.

You just need a new repetition. Then another. Then another.

This is really the heart of why I created Showing Up Fully. Not because I think people need another way to fix themselves. I don't believe you're a problem that needs fixing. I think sometimes we've simply become very practiced at being versions of ourselves we no longer want to be.

And there's an enormous difference. Showing Up Fully is about noticing those patterns, releasing what no longer fits, and intentionally practicing the thoughts, beliefs, boundaries, expectations and behaviors that belong to the life you're creating. Not someday. Now. Right in the middle of the messy part. Because your life doesn't have to calm down before you start living it. And you don't need permission to become who you're becoming. You can start practicing her today.

Want to explore Showing Up Fully?

Showing Up Fully is my 12-week experience designed to help you move beyond old patterns and begin intentionally practicing the way you want to think, feel and show up in your life.

Learn more at https://www.leighkubin.com/showing-up-fully-program