It’s Not You, It’s the Programming

I was working with a client today who’s just starting a new business. She’s got so much passion, so many ideas, and you can feel the excitement in her when she talks about it. But there was also this hesitation, this invisible wall she kept bumping into. She didn’t know why; she just knew she kept holding herself back.

As we dug a little deeper, the real reason came up. Her go-to response, whenever things got big or bold, was not to advocate for herself. Not because she didn’t want to, but because that’s what her childhood had programmed her to do: stay quiet, keep the peace, don’t take up too much space.

And the moment she realized that, something clicked. It wasn’t her. She wasn’t broken or lacking. It was the old programming, running silently in the background all these years.

When she saw the difference, I am not the programming; you could feel this lightness wash over her. Almost like she’d been carrying around a weight that wasn’t even hers to begin with. And isn’t that true for so many of us? We think we’re the problem. We believe we are not enough, or too much, or just “not the kind of person” who can step forward boldly. But in reality, so often it’s just the old coding we absorbed long ago. And here’s the most freeing part: once you see it for what it is, you can rewrite it.

So let me ask you: where in your life are you holding yourself back, when the truth is, it’s not you at all, it’s just the programming?

You don’t have to carry that weight anymore. When you’re ready to step into a gentler, truer story, I’d be honored to walk with you. You can find me at leighkubin.com or schedule your complimentary consultation at https://calendly.com/coach-leighkubin/30min-consultation.