The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I was working with a client recently who came in feeling completely overwhelmed. She told me that whenever something happened, a comment, a look, even silence, her mind would instantly turn it into a story; and not a happy one.

She’d catch herself thinking, “They must be upset with me… I must have done something wrong… This means I’m not enough.” The weight of those stories left her exhausted, as if every little moment required her to defend herself or prove her worth.

As I listened, I couldn’t help but smile, not at her pain, but at how deeply I understood it. I’ve been there, too. I’ve created the drama, filled in the blanks with worst-case scenarios, and convinced myself it was all true. It’s almost as if our minds are talented novelists, constantly writing plotlines where we are the flawed main character.

The thing is, none of those stories were facts. They were interpretations. They were the meaning she attached to neutral events. A look, a silence, a pause in conversation, it wasn’t the moment itself causing her pain. It was the story about the moment.

And here’s where the shift happened. I reminded her: What if you don’t have to make everything mean something? What if you could just notice the feeling, the thought, the reaction, and not judge it? Not twist it into a story? Just notice.

That simple idea opened up a whole new possibility for her. She didn’t have to fight the emotions. She didn’t have to pretend they weren’t there. She could acknowledge them, breathe with them, and let them pass, like clouds drifting across a sky.

And I’ll be honest: even as I guided her through this, I felt the lesson echoing inside me because I know how easy it is to get caught up in the drama we create for ourselves. I know how heavy those self-told stories can feel.

But I also know the freedom that comes when we pause, step back, and notice. That’s where peace lives, not in controlling everything, not in overthinking, but in allowing what is, without turning it into something more.

So the next time your mind tries to hand you a dramatic script, maybe pause and ask: Is this really true? Or is this just a story I’m telling myself? Because sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the chance to step back… and simply notice.

If you find yourself stuck in those stories and want support in learning how to step back, notice without judgment, and find peace in the present, I’d love to work with you. You can learn more and book a session with me at leighkubin.com.